“All my haters in this office are so in trouble, ptcheeew! Yeye chewing gum girls”, Thelma, a known troublesome, ‘wanna be’, began to soliloquise while chewing her gum aloud irritatingly.

As usual, I faced my business and played deaf to all her rants, what I know for sure is, she doesn’t have the guts to come directly at me or anyone else in the office to point accusing fingers. We all know her as a toothless barking dog.

A few months after securing my job with one of the state-of-the-art branding companies in the heart of Lagos, Thelma joined our workforce and it has been troubles and threats ever since.

Thelma is one annoying low-life, who thinks she’s superior and better than anyone else. It is so bad for her that she believes that whenever people gather to discuss and laugh, then she’s the centre of their discussion. With her, it is ‘one day one trouble’, she can’t successfully live a day without having a rift with anyone.

It happened at the beginning of work one fateful morning, that Thelma and the office manager got involved in a mild argument which made her leave the office feeling offended and disrespected.

Well, I got in after the whole showdown and I was been filled in with the gist when she strolled into the office and said, “They’ll not be able to talk again na, all these small small girls, all they know is to gossip, discuss you behind you, ptcheeeew,” but that didn’t even freak me as I had promised myself not to get involved in her webs of mess.

Before we knew it, she started making some calls to some supposedly ‘strong/big boys’ and was boasting about them coming over to ‘treat her (office manager) fuck up’, and how we don’t know who she is, blah blah blah. Mind you, she’s known for making anonymous calls just so she can oppress people around her, so we all just called her bluff.

That’s how we waited patiently for her boys to show, but alas, till I penned this down, no one showed up to beat the office manager.

Anyway, as a good observer, I decided to observe her closely to ascertain her challenges while keeping my cool in the face of all the rubbish she flaunts at me, and my conclusions which where also confirmed by others are that with me; she felt insecure (because I speak good English and fluently at that), she had low self-esteem, felt threatened because I always get accolades for doing well at work while the reverse is the case with her and so many other attributes that are best not sweating over.

Thelma needed to stress the fact that she was well exposed and a socialite in her own right to me, hence the reasons she usually tries hard to outdo herself. She comes to the office to talk about parties she attended and how much of fun she had (Like I care, we all know she’s a glorified ‘olosho’), she will shamelessly call her chain of men to demand money or food as if it is her birthright, but what is my business?

Thelma is so lousy and disgusting when it comes to singing and saying prayers especially about her ‘enemies’, as she would scream at the top of her voice, disturbing the sanity of the entire workspace.

We often wondered why the boss never addressed her issue either by dismissing or even sanctioning her for her unruly behaviours, but then, we concluded that there’s more than meets the eyes, for Thelma to continue with her behaviours unchecked.

The sweet promise I made to myself is that I, Regina, would finish her with my silence. I won’t ever give any room for her to drag me into her mess, as she already has beef for me and always throws subtle shades, but like I said earlier, I really do not care if she exists or not, cos I didn’t join this much-coveted office because of her, let her carry her ‘werey’ somewhere else mbok.

My silence is always killing her as I never expressed my displeasure to her, she doesn’t know what is running through my mind, my thoughts about her or even my plans, and you know what? That’s my major weapon of dealing with her.

Just like the good old saying that ‘Silence is golden’, I’m so bent on dealing with her with it as this reminds me of the saying we used to play around with back in secondary school whenever we wanted to shun someone off by saying, ‘Silence is the best answer (for a fool like you).

Silence, a secret weapon that has been saving lives since way back. it doesn’t mean or portray cowardice, but I see it as a display of strength as it will always give you an edge.

Be wise in your dealings with everyone, and remember that it may be cowardly to run away from a fight, but running away gives you a better chance of surviving.

I would leave you with this proverb that says, “He that fights and runs away, may turn and fight another day; but he that is in battle slain, will never rise to fight again.”

Stay out of trouble, be fab and adventurous 🙂


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